


Zurich

by thelemonisinplay



Category: Cabin Pressure
Genre: Awkward Conversations, F/M, Herc goes to Zurich, Post Episode: s04e06 Yverdon-les-Bains
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-13
Updated: 2013-03-13
Packaged: 2017-12-05 03:43:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/718505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thelemonisinplay/pseuds/thelemonisinplay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The night before Herc goes to Zurich, he goes over to Carolyn's.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Zurich

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Cabin Crew Riot Two
> 
> Prompt: continents (Europe)

It’s tomorrow.

She’d known it was coming for months. She’d had the opportunity to stop it, and she hadn’t.

(It was for his own good, she told herself. He’d be better off there, they both knew it.)

But she hadn’t quite realised, until it was imminent and happening and _now_ , just how much she wants him to stay.

He’s coming over, later, to say goodbye. And part of her really, really doesn’t want him to come, because she’s afraid she might do something silly, like cry.

(She’s almost certain she won’t. She doesn’t cry easily. But that’s what worries her more, because he knows she doesn’t cry easily, so if she _does_ cry – well, he’ll realise how much she wants him to stay. And then he might actually stay, and he’ll be retired at fifty-six and – what’s she supposed to do with a retired pilot?)

The other part of her is really very glad he’s coming. Because she needs to see him one last time before he goes, needs to take in every little detail about him so she can remember, when he’s not around anymore.

They’re going to try to keep it going, of course. If Martin and that princess have managed long distance from the beginning, then she, much older, wiser and more experienced than Martin, can certainly keep up an eighteen month old relationship.

She just wishes she didn’t have to try.

~*~

He turns up early, when she’s still in the bath. Arthur shouts up to tell her, and then takes him a cup of tea and sits in the living room with him and Snoopadoop. She comes in, hair dry and dressed, midway through a game of chess.

She’s fairly sure Arthur’s clueless as to the rules of chess (Lord knows she is, it’s a tremendously dull game), but she doesn’t question it.

“Hello, Carolyn,” Herc says pleasantly, just as he wins the game. “Checkmate, Arthur.”

“Hello.”

She notices a slight wobble in her voice, and hates herself for it.

“I see Arthur’s made you tea.”

“Yes, just as I like it. Thank you, Arthur.”

“Did you want tea as well, Mum?” Arthur asks, scrambling to get up.

“Yes please, dear,” she says, and he goes off to the kitchen to make it for her.

There’s an awkward pause, where neither of them are entirely sure what to say.

“So. How are you feeling?” she asks, eventually.

“About Switzerland? Oh, I’m quite excited, really. Linda’s coming along too, so I’ll know at least one of my First Officers.”

“Well, that’s good.”

There’s another awkward pause. Carolyn finds herself completely lost: this isn’t how they are. Things are _never_ awkward, they _always_ have something to say: an insult, some sort of comment on something, a witty response to a poorly-argued point.

This is the most difficult conversation they’ve ever had.

~*~

“Here’s your tea, Mum,” Arthur says cheerily, passing her the mug.

“Thank you, Arthur.”

She looks away from Herc, takes the tea and sits down on the sofa, hoping the awkwardness comes to an end. And soon.

“Shall I put the telly on? I think there’s a documentary on dolphins on tonight.”

She agrees, just for something to do, and within ten minutes the other two have joined her on the sofa; Arthur in the middle like a child between his parents.

(She stops that train of thought right there. That leads to other thoughts of how Arthur’s better off with a good father figure around, leads to comparisons between Herc and Gordon, and that will make her ask him to stay. And she’d had that opportunity months ago, and missed it.)

“I wonder if I could get a book on dolphins. I could tell Skip and Douglas things about them, I think they might like that.”

Neither Carolyn nor Herc has anything to say to that.

(Because Martin got the job and he’s refusing to go, the stupid boy; and Herc’s got the job and he is going, and – she didn’t want Martin to go, not really, she just wanted what was best for him. But they both know that all it would have taken for Herc not to go would have been a simple request. But it was a request she’d been unable to make.)

~*~

Arthur goes off up to bed at eleven. Herc’s not made any move to go, though. Not yet.

“Hadn’t you better be off soon?” she asks, as a sort of prompt. Not that she wants him to not be here. She just wants the awkwardness to be over.

“Oh, do you want me to leave?”

She frowns. “No. I just don’t want you to be too exhausted to go to Zurich in the morning.”

He doesn’t say anything to that for a moment, just looks at her. “Thank you.”

There’s another pause.

“Right. Well. I probably should go, then. As you say, I don’t want to be too tired tomorrow.”

They’re in the doorway, he with his coat on, when he leans down and kisses her.

“I do still love you, you know,” he murmurs.

She runs it all through her brain for a moment. The eighteen months of their relationship. Everything they’ve done together. The fact that he’s going to live in another country tomorrow.

And she wants to leave him with something.

“I,” she begins, and then stops. Because she can’t.

It’s been too long, and it’s too late, and she can’t bring herself to use the words.

“I’ll come and see you. Soon,” she says instead, and as a sort of afterthought, kisses him again. “Have a safe trip.”

 


End file.
